Boxes for Wednesday, and some wine for Me

Okay fine it’s only 11AM and I haven’t actually poured myself a drink, but it’s the thought alright?

I’ve spent the last four hours packing/tossing/organizing, and I’ve done it without a bra on so let me just tell you that my ladies are feeling the gravity of my actions. Poor Nips. Poor poor nips.

Here are my loves, M swears I should just give them away, but yeah that’ll NEVER happen. So please help a girl out and tell Him he’s wrong. K thanks.

Am I cray for wanting to wait until the last second to pack them; so they can avoid the dark lonely boxes and stay with me forever? Please say no, I’ll bribe you to say no.

Two weeks until Moving day, if anyone wants to fly to Portland and help me I’d love a moving blate :) You’re tempted aren’t you?

xoxo

I yelled at three middle school boys…after I flashed them.

Good morning

Just a quick shout out to Mrs. Frump, thanks for finally leaving you dirty whooo-re you.

Do you ever have a day, or days, or month, when this frumpy beach just takes over your mind/body. I housed her this weekend. Luckily she finally left, sorry to whomever she’s preying on now.

With that said, love who you are, love your wrinkles, love your muffin top and more importantly just love yourself and be confident in who you are.

Moving on.

My nails are a fun Tangerine and my Nub is a growing, slow and steady like a Bunny.

Look Bunnies

M and I have 15 days until we move over yonder and into what seems like the smallest home ever. To date I think it’s the smallest I’ve ever lived in, but I’m excited to make it ours. We are still in cahoots about decorating, but Mr. Man just needs to let the woman do the decorating.

We were talking about homeownership the other day and decided that we’re 100% okay with NEVER having to do yard work. Our reasons are selfish of course.

I bet you are wondering about my subject line, well its true I’m still waiting for their Mothers to come beat my ass.

I was minding my own business sunbathing on my deck around 345 on Friday. I may have been topless, whatev. My backyard is a bunch of trees, last I checked Tarzan is dead ya’ll. So I hear kids, wondering if they could see me I just sat up a little bit. Yep they could see me. In haste I yelled “They’re boobs go home” and then they ran into the trees. I immediately flipped over and immediately waited for my death. I mean if I was a mother and some topless beezy was just giving it away to my kids I’d be PISSED. She never came though, thankfully. I’m alive and well.

Scene of the crime, recreated today just for you, and well Vitamin D.

Gorg Sunset of the River on Sat.

xoxo

What a doozy

I mean Boozy.

Just kidding.

This weekend went by way to fast. I was lucky enough to see both sisters, plus all my fav ladies.

One decided to forego the festivities and she's now on probation, like for reals.

Her bridesmaidship is now def on the rocks. I'll keep posted.

 Cuz I know you are curious!

So here's a few pics of the event!

The Favors

  Fruits, veggies, wraps, cheese, crackers, shortbread cookies and some of the booze

Home made mini pies!

Not pictured: Brownie bites, Mimosas and more booze. Oops.

I had a lot on my  mind okay!

7 of the 8 Bridesmaids who were there. Angela took the pic so that's why she's not in it.

Peanut lives in London so she's excused, then whos-it, who is in the dog house.

SS took real photos (you know, non-iphone photos) and so did Ronda so I'll be asking for copies to share. You're welcome.

Now for the man event

Love him

I hope your weekends were filled with love and laughter. Bring it on Monday, I can handle you.

xx

Dear M&M, you SUCK, ass.

It’s Friday ladies and gents

In 12 hours I pick my Twinner up from the aero-port!!! I’m so excited.

Then tomorrow, with the exception of my lovely Peanut, I’ll be with all my sexy Bridesmaids for the afternoon. Color me happy.

Dear M&M, thank you for your quick response, however I’d like to address a few things. 1. I mentioned life and death if you didn’t bring back the White Chocolate, and you didn’t even address it. 2. You mentioned them selling out quickly, well no shit Sherlock my fat ass bought as many as I could. It’s called an addiction Mr. Hershey. 3. You also mentioned them only being available during the Spring, pretty sure it snowed in Colorado this week, so Spring isn’t over yet. 4. I will be boycotting all Hershey products until you bring them back, and I may be irrelevant to you but I’m a consumer and consumers SPEND. You’re lucky I didn’t go Shawshank on you.

Dear M, thank you for being mine, the 15 minutes we’ve had each day while you’re falling asleep just isn’t enough; working opposite schedules is uber-lame. Neeeeeedy.

Dear FB Home sale/swap, you’re amazing. I’ve been able to downsize quickly and sell things that I had no idea what to do with; like M’s Camera, what he never used it.

Dear Love & Beauty nail color, you’re cheap, amazing and you dry fast! Love it.

Dear 50, I’m so happy to have known you since last year; and so glad I’m not the only one obsessing over you. If I was, there might be a problem, Houston.

Dear nails, for 28 years and 3 months, I’ve taken you for granted, I had no idea how important you are, and that maybe you need a little more love than just a paint job.

Dear Nub, come on little Buddy you can do it, GROW!

Dear Bubbly and Popsicles, genius

xoxo

Maybe I should be in sales, you're welcome for the photos BTW

Howdy-doo there neighbors

What do you do before bed? (creepy right) See M puts in ear plugs and says "I love you, goodnight" and then I proceed to talk to him, you know sweet pillow talk, and then realize after about 50 minutes that I've been talking to myself. Lame

So then I seek out my after midnight bestie, you might know her, Pinterest.

Last night we came up with these

Then she one-upped me with this

B#$ch

But lets focus on the family photo for a minute.

Have you seen anything like it, that poor unborn child.

I asked M if we could just recreate it without being preggo but maybe write

 "Merry Christmas" 

 "We Moved"

or my personal fav

"We're expecting a toenail, due 2013"

But he said no, I can't imagine why.

I festered for about 6 seconds and then found the most amazing leggings on Etsy.

Let me just say they're from Latvia, and I couldn't buy them because someone else already had. RUDE

Don't worry, I'll get them someday.

Could you just imagine my short squatty legs in those tight multi-colored stretchy pants, with each step the bears on my knees will talk and it'll be glorious. Just glorious.

Happy Thursday friends.

xoxo

To buy ten boxes I had to pimp out my Fiancé

Happy Wednesday, the week is almost over!

We really tried to be the cute Hipster Couple that asked the Produce man for boxes. Three times we tried, 6 banana boxes later it wasn't enough.

So I sent M on a mission to buy boxes.

Do you know how crazy expensive boxes are?

Ten, just ten measly boxes, was $54 dollars.

I know you just gasped, you had to, boxes are RECYCLED, why in the F are boxes expensive. $5.40 a box, NOT COOL.

For $54 dollars we could have done, eaten, purchased the following:

An appetizer, two entrees and two drinks at any # of local eateries

Or an appetizer, one entree and three drinks.

This dress from Nordys

This freaking adorable portable grill from West Elm

If M&M comes back from the dark side I could buy 18 bags of White Chocolate M&Ms. Speaking of, I sent M&M a letter demanding their return. I may have also mentioned my life depending on it. Fingers crossed it works.

I could also buy 7 Essie nail colors

I could buy 9 of my favorite L'Oreal Mascaras. NINE, that's like a years worth of mascara for ten damn empty boxes.

I could get a haircut and a blow out.

A mani and a pedi,

Well that’s a lie, my nub is in hiding until Winter so lets go with 4 mani’s.

I could fill my tank with gas, I’ve been puttering around on E for the last two days. I’m thankful I live on a hill so I can just roll down. Genius.

What would you buy for $54 dollars. If you say boxes we can’t be friends for the next 90 minutes. Or until Anderson is over, and that's in 5 minutes. You choose.

xoxo

Nubs for America

It’s Monday and the high for today is 81!

Bam Bam thank you ma’am.

Happy 7th of May lovelies.

Saturday we attended a Rotary Club charity auction, umm awesome. It was so fun. Here are some pics.

Oh, it was a charity wine auction, more awesome.

Here’s a late night pic of Mal and I

Taking couple pics NEVER crossed our minds, dangit.

Sunday was spent lounging with M, then we picked up Joe and had Island Cafe for lunch. Island Cafe is a floating restaurant on the Columbia River, if you’re ever in Portland between the months of April and September you HAVE TO GO.

Now for some Nub fun facts, considering I’m the newest member of Nubs United and Nubs for America

Did you know it can take up to 3.5 months for a nail to grow back.

Or that somehow circulation will help nail growth.

Green tea nail soaking also helps, so I’ve heard.

Prenatal vitamins, here I come!

I have 25 days until I head off to LV for a fab bachelorette party, and unless I somehow become a nail growing fool I’ll be going with a nub.

Worst case I’ll head off to a local nail salon dressed in a baggy black hoodie and dark shades and ask for a gel toe nail. I can’t go on vacation and be taken seriously with a Nub.

M told me to just take off all my toe nail polish so they all match….Men

It’s 81 today, and I’m headed to lay out with the bestie. Well once the laundry is finished. Ish just wont wash itself.

May your Monday be lovely.

xoxo